Happy New Year. Feliz Ano Nuevo. Bonne Annee. Frohes Neues Jahr.
I don’t want to make the mistake Mark Twain heard a preacher make. Apparently, the preacher spoke eloquently about good works. Mark Twain was so moved that he decided to contribute ten dollars when the plate came around. But as the preacher kept on talking, Twain began to get a bit weary. After another five minutes, he decided ten dollars was too extravagant. By the time the preacher was finally through, Twain tossed a dime into the collection plate and dashed for the door. So I’ll be right to the point. Today we celebrate the Feast of the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.
I begin with a true story. Over a century and a half ago, diamond fever spread across the continent of Africa. Some people struck it rich. But for others, it became a long, disappointing search. One man wandered throughout Africa, finding nothing. Meanwhile, back on the land that man had sold, the new owner found a strange-looking stone in the small creek on the property. He placed it on his fireplace mantel as a curio.
One day, a visitor noticed this stone. He shouted excitedly at the farmer, “Do you know this is a diamond? It’s one of the largest I’ve ever seen.” The entire farm was loaded with magnificent diamonds. The point is this: some people never take the time to notice what they have in their own backyard, so to speak. Some people never notice the “gems” they have in their own families and in their parishes. So, stop and smell the roses in your own backyard. Notice the gem you have in your spouse and sons/daughters; and sons and daughters, notice the gem in your parents. And notice the gems in the parish.
The word of God today has options. I chose Genesis and Colossians. They are all about family.
In the Book of Genesis, Abraham worries that he is childless. But Abraham puts his trust in God, and Abraham’s wife had a son in their old age.
The author of Genesis challenges us to trust always in God, no matter how anxious we may be about a particular situation. God is near us, so our faith assures us, even if we don’t think so.
Paul’s letter to the Christian community in Colossae in western Turkey begins with the familial address “Brothers and sisters.” The author then speaks about qualities we should embody as family: qualities such as compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, forgiveness, and above all love.
Luke’s Gospel tells us that when Mary and Joseph brought Jesus to the temple in Jerusalem, Simeon took Jesus into his arms and blessed God. Then Simeon praised God and said, “My eyes have seen your salvation … a light …”
This close-knit family---Jesus, Mary and Joseph-- then went back home to Nazareth, where Jesus grew in wisdom and age and God’s favor (Lk 2:41–52). For twenty-some years, this family clung together. They lived in a backwater village and worked together at ordinary tasks. Joseph, tradition says, kept his loved ones in bread with the skill of his hands. Mary baked and spun, carried water, and taught Jesus to pray. They lived an utterly simple life. And like every family, Mary eventually waved a goodbye to Jesus as he set off for his life’s mission. She experienced the empty nest! Theirs was a holy family, and so too is yours—living together, working together, playing and praying together. And what sustained this holy family in Nazareth? And what sustains ours? I would like to suggest three virtues: faithfulness, courage, and prudence.
Faithfulness: There’s probably no virtue more important than faithfulness for sustaining family life. Married couples are called to be open to new life and to nourish and educate the children with whom God gifts them. To do this well, parents need to be faithful to each other and to their children. Faithfulness builds trust. Children, for example, trust that parents will always be there for them. We all need to know that someone loves us and will always be there for us, especially when we hit a rough patch in life. And yes, sometimes parents have to show tough love for the good of their children. But the point is we as families need the anchor of faithfulness in our ever-changing world.
Second, families need courage. In William Bennett’s Book of Virtues, we find under the title “Courage” the stories of David and Goliath, Susan B. Anthony, and Rosa Parks. Courage is about moral character. It defines who we are at the core of our innermost selves. It is an attitude that challenges us, despite our fears, to stand up for what is right and true and good. Many of us would also include people such as Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr, and Mother Teresa in our list of courageous people. And we probably would include our parents. We have seen up close the sacrifices our parents have made for us. Commitment to another, in good times and bad, requires courage. Parental courage reaches a crescendo when children become teenagers. Parents can’t protect them from the many forces in society that can destroy teenagers not only physically but morally. Yes, children grow and age, and eventually parents must let them go. Parenting, sustaining life, more than any other activity, requires courage, always trying to do the right thing even when we’re not sure it’s the right thing. After all, to be human is to live in ambiguity.
And the third virtue is prudence. It doesn’t mean caution. Rather it’s an instinct to seek what’s the right thing to do among our many choices, whereas courage is the instinct to do the right thing despite our fears. They go hand in hand. Parents have to act amid the messiness of everyday life. They are forced to make decisions often without clearly seeing all the possible outcomes. And often decisions are not either/ or, but both/and. That’s why we sometimes must agree to disagree and move on with our lives. But it’s only by making decisions daily that parents become experienced decision makers. Prudence requires that parents continually reflect on their decisions and learn from them for the future.Someone wrote: “Twenty years from now, we will be more disappointed by the things we didn’t do than by the ones we did.” Think about it. Don’t regret something you could have done but didn’t; you only live once, as the saying goes. Everyday life is not a dress rehearsal; it’s the real thing. To the extent that our lives are in our own hands, do good now, not later. Don’t regret not doing it.
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph lived a life together as a family, a holy family, a life with no regrets. Faithfulness, courage, and prudence anchored that family. May God on this Feast of the Holy Family anchor our own families in faithfulness, courage, and prudence.
