The Book of Proverbs brings to my mind a bestseller titled “The Death of Common Sense.” Author Philip Howard, a lawyer, advises leaders on how to simplify government.
The London Times even published an “obituary” about the death of common sense. It begins: Common Sense cultivated such lessons as don’t spend more than you earn. Its health deteriorated when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Not many attended the funeral because few realized Common Sense was gone.
Yes, let’s remind ourselves, esp. government officials, to use common sense.
The word of God brings us the wisdom of ancient Israel in the Book of Proverbs, which offers some 375 wise sayings about how to live and behave. Our grandparents probably cited plenty of wise sayings, like: haste makes waste; measure twice cut once. Common sense.
The biblical author here personifies wisdom as a woman overseeing the secrets of life. Wisdom sets a table with delicious foods and fine wines. At this table we can nourish our souls with true wisdom, and distinguish what’s important in life, so we can become the best version of ourselves: in a good relationship with God and one another.
The author may be asking whether we have our priorities straight: seeking first the things of God; nourishing a good relationship with God and the people who touch our lives. Ask yourself, how can I improve these relationships today?
Paul in his letter to the Christian community at Ephesus in Turkey invites us to live a life worthy of our calling, always thanking God. Don’t act like fools, Paul tells us. Make the best of every opportunity.
Here's a quote that still re-energizes me: “I shall pass through this world but once: any good that I can do or any kindness that I can show to any human being, let me do it now, let me not defer or neglect it for I shall not pass this way again.”
In the Gospel, Jesus speaks of himself as the living bread that came down from heaven. Whoever eats this bread and drinks from this cup, Jesus says, abides in God and God abides in them. The mystery of the indwelling of God in us!
The Gospels for the last three weekends proclaim Jesus is our living bread. But Jews have been quarreling among themselves about Jesus. And Jesus is often confronting critics about who He is or what He’s teaching. Jesus faced conflicts of one kind or another.
We too face conflicts. Arguments are not only inevitable; they can surprisingly lead to better relationships. Yes, a disagreement can be an opportunity to get back on course. Arguments can be positive experiences. Here are some “guidelines”:
• Set up a time to settle the issue as soon as possible. Setting an agreeable time and a quiet place allows us to cool off and sort out the real issue.
• Define carefully the particular problematic behavior. Ask: What do I really object to? Am I reacting reasonably? For example, when I have to clean up someone else’s mess, it makes more work for me. Make “I” statements rather than “you.” Avoid name calling or generalization like “You never think of anyone else.” And don't forget: it’s ok to agree to disagree.
• Express your feelings thoughtfully. A wife whose husband was always late for dinner without letting her know finally left him a plate of dog food. Luckily, her husband got the point and was good humored. But disguising feelings can be dangerous. Just as aches and pain in our bodies alert us to physical problems, feelings alert us to problems in our relationships. There’s nothing wrong with thoughtful sharing. Calm honesty is the best policy.
• Come up with creative solutions in a manner agreeable to both parties. A specific request may be, "How about playing your trumpet sometime other than the middle of the night." If we cannot think of a solution, brainstorm together. The important thing is to work together to solve the problem. Employ active listening.
St. Paul wrote, “Love does not brood over injuries.” All of us must be willing to forgive, apologize and get on with our lives. This of course is a two-way street.
If we communicate regularly, we can create a climate of love, trust and R-E-S-P-E-C-T to foster positive relationships. I can't help but think of Aretha Franklin's magical soul song “Respect.”
God knows we sometimes struggle in our earthly relationships. Daily prayer puts our hearts in the right place. If in doubt, turn to Chapter 6 in the Gospel according to Luke, where Jesus advises:
“Be merciful, just as...your Father is merciful.
Stop judging and you will not be judged.
Stop condemning and you will not be condemned.
Forgive and you will be forgiven.”
Yes, seize every opportunity to do good.
