Becoming the Best Version of Ourselves by Living the Beatitudes

Sermon on the Mount: Matthew 5

The word of God today, takes us to the ninth century before Jesus, to a holy man named Elisha. A wealthy childless woman welcomes this “holy person” into her home. This woman invites us to always be hospitable to one another; and Elisha challenges us to trust in God’s providence or care for us as we journey through life.

St. Paul’s letter describes how we have the triune life of God in us through the waters of baptism. Paul challenges us to remember who we really are: new creatures, sons and daughters of God our Father, called to live a God-like life.

In the Gospel according to Matthew, Jesus calls us to get our priorities straight.  Our first priority: to live in a relationship with God. Our second priority: to see the face of God in our fellow human beings, no matter how hidden or shabby that face of God is in them.

Jesus calls us to live a life of discipleship. Not tomorrow or some future day, but today, here and now! Then we will experience what joy and happiness are all about.
Everyone wants happiness.

Many think that if they get enough money, fame, or power, they’ll be happy. But if so, explain how so many celebrities who “had it all” sedated themselves with drugs or other addictions.

Happiness has to factor into life: work with its stresses; relationships with their tensions; disappointments versus dreams; guilt about what one did or didn’t do; health or lack thereof. And ultimately, happiness has to factor into death.

Let’s remember that at one point in his earthly ministry, many followers left Jesus. Jesus then turned to his inner circle and asked, “Do you also want to leave?” Peter replied, “Master, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.”

Yes, we become happiest by mastering the basics: I suggest we easily find them in the Beatitudes. Then with God's grace, we become the best version of ourselves.

In the opening verses of the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus describes the kind of moral character we should have, in our relationship with God and our relationships with one another.

First, disciples recognize that only God can fill their emptiness.  That’s what it means to be poor in spirit. We needn’t try to fill ourselves with earthly things. Disciples recognize who they are: fragile creatures whom an awesome Creator gifted with life. We realize our good fortune to be alive and are grateful and we owe this awesome Creator praise and worship
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Disciples yearn for healing from their brokenness and know only God can heal. They are gentle, considerate and unassuming. Disciples, above all, hunger for a right relationship with God.

The next beatitudes have to do with our relationships with one another.

Fortunate are they who forgive wrongs done to them and let go of their anger and resentment. God will be merciful to them. Fortunate are the pure in heart, who have integrity, openness, and authenticity in their relationships; they will see God face to face. Fortunate are they who are ready to suffer rather than betray their conscience, who try to do the right thing in all situations.
And finally, fortunate are they who don’t stir up conflict but try to be at peace with God, with themselves, and with others.

I pray that God will grace us to live the beatitudes so that we will become the best version of ourselves, disciples of the Master, always living in a right relationship with God and each other. Amen!

Constructive Conflicts

Dali's Sacrament of the Last Supper

In the Gospel according to Luke, Jesus speaks about conflict. Jesus preached a clearly divisive message. He will burn or destroy everything that is false and evil. You’re either with Jesus or against him.

Church history shows times of disagreement about various things. Imagine, instead of divisiveness, if Christians had continued walking together, putting unity first.

Every one of us faces conflict or confrontation of one kind or another. Such experiences are not only inevitable, they can make for better human relationships. They can be an opportunity to set a relationship on a healthy course, if we commit to keeping first things first, for constructive solutions and stronger relationships.

I like to share the following guidelines, so that conflicts can be a healing rather than a hurting, a constructive rather than a destructive experience:

1. When we have a bone to pick with someone, we need to set up a time to settle the issue as soon as possible. We don’t want to “bottle up” anger indefinitely. Setting an agreeable time and place allows us to cool off and sort out the crux of the issue.

2. Clarify the particular behavior that annoys us. For example, dirty clothes on the floor makes more work for me. Always make “I” statements, not “you” statements. “I” statements avoid name-calling (“you’re” inconsiderate), generalizations (“you” never think of anyone else), abusive language (“listen, you airhead”). Avoid negative judgment. For example, someone is late. A negative judgment would be: you never think about anyone but yourself. The actual behavior is: you’re late; maybe there was an unavoidable delay.

3. Express your feelings honestly. Disguising our feelings can be dangerous, like using the silent treatment. Feelings are neither positive nor negative; they are facts. As aches and pain alert us to physical problems, feelings alert us to our relationship. There’s nothing wrong with expressing feelings honestly and calmly.

4. Lastly, come up with creative solutions. The goal is to resolve a problem in a way that is agreeable to both parties. We may have a specific request that will resolve the issue. Many times, we cannot think of a solution. Then we brainstorm together: the more ideas, the better. Sometimes, we may come up with a new creative solution. Other times we may simply agree to disagree.
All the while, we continue living and working together. All relationships call for nurturing if they are to become stronger.

St. Paul wrote that love “does not brood over injury.” If we do things together and communicate regularly, then we create a climate of love, respect, and trust.

In chapter 6 of St. Luke, Jesus advises: Be compassionate as your heavenly Father is compassionate. Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive and you will be forgiven. Amen.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T-ful Relationships

Richard Hook's "Head of Christ"

To foster positive relationships, we must be willing to forgive, apologize and get on with our lives. This of course is a two-way street. If we communicate regularly, do things together and have fun, we can create a climate of love, trust and R-E-S-P-E-C-T.  I can't help but think of Aretha Franklin's magical soul song "Respect"; and her line "sock-it-to me." May she  rest in peace.

For the last three weekends the Gospels have proclaimed that Jesus is the living bread that came down from heaven. Whoever eats this bread and drinks from this cup, Jesus says, abides in God and God abides in them. The mystery of the indwelling of God is in us!

But Jesus is often presented in the Gospels confronting critics. And we too face conflicts in our daily lives. Such arguments are not only inevitable; they can lead to even better relationships. Yes, a disagreement can be an opportunity to clear the air, to get back on course. Let me highlight some guidelines for arguing fairly:

1. When we have a bone to pick, set up a time to speak and settle the matter as soon as possible. Why? We don’t want to bottle up anger indefinitely. Setting an agreeable time and a quiet place also allows us to cool off and sort out the issue. That’s the goal.

2. Define carefully the particular behavior we have a problem with. What do I really object to? Is it worth arguing about? Am I overreacting? For example, when I have to clean up someone else’s mess, it’s more work for me. Make “I” statements, impact statements, rather than “you” statements. “I” statements avoid name calling (like “You’re inconsiderate”), avoid generalizations (like “You never think of anyone else”) and abusive language (like “Listen, you airhead”).

3. Express your feelings honestly,calmly and thoughtfully. Disguising feelings, instead of expressing them honestly and thoughtfully, can be dangerous. Just as aches and pain in our bodies alert us to physical problems, feelings alert us to problems in our relationships. With feelings, thoughtful honesty is the best policy.

4. Come up with creative solutions. You may have a specific request that will resolve an issue. For example, to a teenager, how about playing your drums or trombone some time other than the middle of the night. If we cannot think of a solution, brainstorm: the more ideas, the better. Work together to solve the problem.

There are other so-called “guidelines” for arguing fairly, including actively listening with each other, staying calm, agreeing to disagree and so forth.

God knows we sometimes struggle in our earthly relationships. Daily prayer puts our hearts in the right place. If we’re ever in doubt, turn to Chapter 6 in the Gospel according to Luke, where Jesus advises:
“Be merciful, just as [also] your Father is merciful.
Stop judging and you will not be judged.
Stop condemning and you will not be condemned.
Forgive and you will be forgiven.”

Best Friends Forever

DaVinci's Last Supper in Milan, Italy

It’s “back-to-school time.” I’m going to give you a 2-part quiz. Part 1:
Who were the last two teams to win the Super Bowl?
Name the two wealthiest people in the world (according to Forbes Magazine).
I didn’t get 100%. Now part 2:
Think of two teachers who made a difference for the better in your life.
Name two friends who helped you through a difficult time.
I bet you named people there.

The point is simple: we quickly forget "super bowl" headlines. However, we don't forget those “heroes and heroines” who mentored or coached us through challenges, and who helped us answer the question: what on earth am I here for.  That, my friends, is precisely what Jesus does: our way, our truth and our life.

In the Gospel according to John, Jesus says he is the bread of life who can transform us into new creatures. Elsewhere Jesus works a sign/a wonder: he multiplies the loaves and fish, sharing with the hungry crowd.

As a community of disciples, Jesus satisfies our spiritual hunger at the table of the Lord with the bread of life, the Eucharist.

Jesus is our rabbi/teacher who shows us purpose in life, to live in relationship with Gode and one another forever.  He is our trustworthy friend who is always with us especially as we face challenges. And he's our mentor who graces us so that we can become the best version of ourselves.

This living Christ invites us, so says John 15:15, to be “friends, because I have told you everything I have heard from my Father.”

Now, what is a friend? I recently came across a survey of 800 so-called young millennials. The results gave a snapshot of a lonely generation. Many had a large number of “Facebook friends” but still felt a sense of loneliness. Social media, of course, is no substitute for real, face-to-face friendships.

The Bible is very realistic about friendships. We see examples of relationships at their best, and also at their worst.

For me, friendships include at least three ingredients. First, partnerships. Jesus sent his disciples out two by two. From the beginning of Christianity, we see friends working together. Paul and Barnabas, for example, “dedicated their lives ... to Jesus Christ.” We read they had a disagreement, parted company. But in the providence of God, Barnabas found a new partner in Mark, Paul partnered with Silas, and they went “through Syria and Cilicia, bringing strength to the churches.” (Acts 15:41). Yes, value partnerships, in marriage, in work, in the community.

Second, nurture friendships. Martin Luther King Jr. gave some good advice about how to do this, reminding us: “Forgiveness is not an occasional act; it is a permanent attitude.” Absolutely true in nurturing friendships.

Finally, make loyalty a priority.  If we sow loyalty, we will reap loyalty. We will even become trustworthy among those who aren't our friends.

Above all, think of Jesus as our best friend, soulmate and confidant, our kindly light forever.